The Sorcerer's World

Is having a conversation with another stalking? Peeking around the conflict and finding out whats really going on with someone?

Someone has a certain idea or reputation and you talk with them in conversation and find they are not what you think at all. Sometimes they arent even saying what you think they are saying.

I have the issue of being really defensive about things sometimes. I have found that is because of my bullshit filter. You know, stuff that was told to me at some point in my life and not particularly true yet I gave it my energy anyway, I think I have resolved it but in my interactions I find that Im still a little connected to it?

As I write this I see that what is required to do this is, to lose ego, and really *see* what is going on with the other person and put the puzzle together...hmmm any thoughts?

Hi,

I especially like the second question, me assuming that (usually) the conflict is recognized at the level of the self, rather than a conflict between me and the other person. I know a person for more than a 15 years intensive and at some point it was pointed out to me that he is the key person in my dealing with people - iow, he holds more than a half of my agenda, but I felt he is unable to ever get to know what is really inside me. And I could go onspitting out the obvious, yet the obvious was not so obvious to the self when I persisted on asking "why there's a constant need for classification of the situation at hand as a conflict?"

So again, why do I have a conflict? Do I have a conflict?

G'day Maiv,

F.


Someone has a certain idea or reputation and you talk with them in conversation and find they are not what you think at all. Sometimes they arent even saying what you think they are saying.

I have the issue of being really defensive about things sometimes. I have found that is because of my bullshit filter. You know, stuff that was told to me at some point in my life and not particularly true yet I gave it my energy anyway, I think I have resolved it but in my interactions I find that Im still a little connected to it?

As I write this I see that what is required to do this is, to lose ego, and really *see* what is going on with the other person and put the puzzle together...hmmm any thoughts?[/quote]

Can be. We should always be stalking.



What it shouldn't be. Because if we aim the focus on another and what's up with them, then you've lost sight of what stalking is. It should be stalking ourselves in relation with another individual. Not being concerned with what faults, or issues they may have, but our own, how they affect us in interactions with them.

If we see what is going on with someone else during conflict arent you using them as a mirror for yourself really?

Not always. It is possible to see another.

I've found that the best way to peek around conflict is through direct interaction with someone - though that is always going to be a case of stalking yourself instead of stalking the other person. CC referred to stalking as "the art of controlled folly" - a definition with which I would agree. Other Toltec authors promote the idea of stalking other - and while it is possible to do so, it's also extremely important to ask yourself if the person you are stalking is being "authentic", or may actually be stalking YOU. That's one reason I find these Toltec forums tedious at times - too many people trying to bring out the worst in one another instead of focusing on bringing out the best.

I myself am somewhat like the Nagual Julian. If I know someone is stalking me, I will behave in a manner that is not necessarily "Della." And inevitably, the would-be stalker will wind him/herself up on his/her own rope and hang. *shrug* The lesson - if that person were stalking herself, s/he would have had the energetic awareness to see the "trap" and not wander into it - and when someone is stalking another, it is a trap they themselves set, though they seldom see that until they've already gotten caught in it - and then will inevitably turn and blame the person whom they were stalking. *LOL*

I've always said that the only way someone will get the best out of me (or anyone else) is when they are tapping the best within themselves. Anything less is just the manifestation of folly.



If it is a face-to-face conversation, your perceptions will, of course, be far more accurate. I've "talked" to people on chat and had them sweet-talk me, and maybe I even believed the act (if they are good enough, and if we want to believe...), and yet my rule of thumb there is that actions speak louder than words. My other rule of thumb is: put up or shut up. *LOL* I once had a man essentially try to dangle some spiritual "carrot" in front of my nose, but whenever I reached for it, he would withdraw it and say, basically, "You aren't ready, Young Skywalker."

Well, that didn't last long with me. When I said to him - someone I admired and respected at the time - "Put up or shut up," he had to shut up. There was no "carrot" to be had. There was only the agenda to dangle the carrot in an attempt to feed his own ego.

So I tend to take people at their actions far more than their words - their deliverances rather than their promises. So when I see a lot of talk and not much action, when I *see* spin-doctoring (which translates in seeing as someone talking out both sides of their mouth simultaneously) I crank the bullshit filter up a notch or two and go find a good book to read. *LOL*



To me, *seeing* is the key - and my recent work with others has shown that this is BEST done in an actual face to face encounter. Sure, we can still *see* energy through conversations on the net, but all too often I am discovering that what people SAY and what they then turn around and DO are two very different things. It's that bullshit filter you're talking about.

On the net, you never really know who is who and what is what - and that puts all at a disadvantage in many ways. It's one major reason I do put my real name to what I write. I "own" it in other words, and have encouraged others to do the same, because it simply cuts down on the level of subterfuge, game-playing and cyberstalking.

Your mileage may vary.

Much love,
D

If your focus is on their issues and faults, no, wouldnt be a mirror. If you're observing yourself in relation to the other - and you're learning from the experience, more deeper levels involved in yourself - maybe that you didnt know existed in self, and you discover something about you, then this would be more of a mirror, and stalking technique.

9 times out of 10, people seem to *see* aspects of themselves in others while thinking and or believing that they are seeing another.

I find that most people have a hard time looking directly at certain aspects of themselves and do in fact need to see them in others first...and that is where we often see these aspects first anyways. The other night, I was watching someone whom I care about forgetting about her loving side and being rather closed to someone else. And while she was - so too was I. Seeing this in her, identifying this in her then allows me to identify this in myself because as I remind her, so too am I reminding myself. And while I was bothered thatshe was doing it, I was really bothered that I was doing it.

As far as the yada of trying to elicite the worst out of people...well, that is not hard to do and you don't need to be a rocket scientist to do it. "Just step hard enough on someone's toe and they will pull it back" woo wee, big deal. We have all seen this enough times to know everything that there is to know about it, which is namely - "if you come at someone with a stick in hand, they will move into a defensive mode." And we all know that when people are being defensive they are not their best selves.

Each person will have to decide within themselves to whether they will use their power to inspire the greatness of others, or use their power to bring out their worst.

I rather like the idea that "we," as warriors (or people of this path), need to assume the role of stewards of our own paths, of our own karma, and of our own lives...rather than depending on someone else to do it for us.

Much Love,
River

With all the stuff that has been going on here, I have been able to take a close look at how I deal with conflict. I hate it. I shut down, and the energy to me feels really heavy and wasted.

This is a good thing for me to know. Does that mean I should avoid conflict? I think it means that I already do. Should I participate in conflict so that I can "right" myself, and become a real warrior that isnt effected by conflict? No I dont think so. I think theres plenty of conflict to go around and participating in it does me no good.

One thing that was said was by Orlando and my spin on it was that attacks came from the community of warriors not from the "normals" (paraphrased, how it sounded in my head). That really impacted me alot, in looking back on things that have occured in my own experience that has often been the case. Why is that? Maybe because we expect more from fellow travellers on this road. I dont know. There is an implied trust among people looking for the same thing (I can only assume its the path with heart) ...why do some feel the need to violate that trust and try to make themselves an "authority" figure and sometimes at the expense of others?(note to reader: Please Do not put names to this rambling... this has nothing to do with anyone here.) Power. I think, I dont know how peoples heads work....Yet.

I guess its just another excuse to destroy expectation in myself. I cant even live up to it, how can another?