The Sorcerer's World

A larger raccoon came by last night. I was impressed by the length of his digits, wrist and arms. Looked pretty deft to me. He was munching on the bowl of crunchies I'd put out for the abandoned striped cat. He backed away into the darkness, and i took the bowl and removed half the food to inside, and left him the other half, and poured some water into a bowl. He returned to a sound of hissing and howling of the cats at the door. He scooped out some bits, and then put them into his mouth. He did not eat like a dog or cat from the bowl.

I spoke to Raccoon, and said I was glad to see he had escaped Coyote. So much was burned across the creek, it is a vast incomprehensible desert I suspect, to surviving animals. Racccoon visits about once a year. Usually a female with kits?cubs? They seem to migrate across our yard. It's not safe down below since brush clearance has removed secure habitat, we only left some trees for escape from the diligent stalker, Coyote. I put the thought of my hens out of mind, didnt want to suggest anything to Raccoon except that he go on his way. This is a biggish fellow, I don't plan to go outside without a stout stick (don't let him grab it!) and the boat horn.

Now I see that the striped cat does in deed have competition for food. I stand outside while he gulps down his food, so he can feel a little safe. Afterwards, he too vanishes into the darkness.

The female Raven was sitting in the tree outside my window. Singing very softly to herself. Orrh orrh, so quietly. And some other songbirds which I think have come over for the trees, too.

It's taken a lifetime to get free of most the urban day to day interchange in the tonal. I've been in the drama of loss, betrayal, of foolish love, of eccentric tyrannts, of being a wage slave, and bumping into the little madnesses of day to day life. I choose to visit very carefully, and at the hint of manipulation, I give my regrets, and home I go. Is it escape? No, it is a fragile aeyrie that I must reassemble every day, defend, patrol, water, nourish. But, the tradeoff is a greater peace. That is to say, my power is not drained away in those tiny daily doses. As my brother said, regarding some new small monthly fee for a service, my "dog" is covered in monthly fee ticks. He reasons, do I need this? And he's a lot more social than I.

One of my "friends", people who like to impose their impression of me on me, suggested I was agoraphobic. That's Greek for "fear of the marketplace". She said, there is a meeting for agoraphobics anonymous over in...well choose a place 50 miles away acessible by the worst freeway in the state, full of strangers and their strange agendas. I said, you're kidding! No way is an agoraphobic going to do that, who dreamed that up? Ha ha. Then I said, I've worked with the public since I was 13. I've worked holidays, weekends, all the shifts, swing, graveyard, morning, lunch and dinner. I've worked with people from all over the world, and always with myself in abeyance, since that is the way to success (or just plain survival for a paycheck). I did not drive a car for many years and so took public transportation, or walked. Or was at the mercy of drivers with extensive errands or broken cars. I've been in the public, and I'm tired. I just don't have it in me for casual going about town, and I don't think that's nuts. If she does, it's her problem, not mine. She goes about these things she feels she must. Ok. But I'm not going with her. I'll be in my cool pjs, listening to nothing, and seeing stars gleam again.

So while I am not thrilled that Raccoon has come by, his visit is short and so far drama less, and I don't begrude a little food and water to a creature whose home is now a mountain of ash. That's about all the interaction I can use for now. I will not find some movie or sports event or mall shopping comparable in personal satisfaction. No, I've tried and tried, and found myself knowing tow truck drivers on first name basis, and jostling for views of events I don't care about. Pain in the neck!

Yeah, Raccoon is ok. He'll understand when I say he's not welcome. He won't push me to try some Tahi food, or maybe go to a folk festival with alligator pudding. Yes, we'll agree to disagree, and share our space.