The Sorcerer's World

January 23, 2005

WHY DO DOUBLE BEINGS EXIST?

Any warrior can create their double, though ultimately it isn't as much a matter of "choice" as it is a matter of Intent. I might choose to go light a candle as part of a ritual, for example, but that isn't what will create the double. It is the ache/hurt/want/need in the pit of the stomach that provides the Intent that would make me feel a need to perform some meaningless ritual in the first place. IOW, the ritual has no real power and is a choice; but the intent behind the ritual has ultimate power in creation, and the ritual is only a tool for focus (for those who still bother with ritual at all, that is). Over a period of time (no one can say how long), the double is brought into being by the intent of the warrior - not the intent to create the double, but the intent to seek knowledge, the intent to create, the intent to find the answer to that gnawing ache/hurt/want/need in the pit of the stomach. In short, the double is created through dreaming in the sense that the energy of that ache/hurt/want/need goes into manifesting the "cure" - and that cure is the double, which may be described as the vessel of the singularity of consciousness which emerges when all is said and done and the warrior leaves this earth.

Double beings are another matter - and yet, at the very heart and soul and source of WHY they are double beings, it may be exactly the same thing, but something that is being seen from another point on the time-map. I have a theory that so-called naguals such as myself are the fuck-ups of the sorcerer's equation. The theory is perhaps slightly complicated, but I need to work through it on cyberpaper, so bear with me, or go smoke a joint and come back later.

If I start from point A, and take the premise - I am an ordinary warrior who has now managed to create my double. The double is now the indestructible vessel of energy which will become the assemblage point of my Wholeness (the totality of oneself) beyond this physical life, and even during this life in some cases. Because it appears that the universe is holographic in nature, what this means is that both the double and the immortal self are part of that hologram. And as most of you probably know, the nature of a hologram is that as long as one has even a tiny piece, one possesses the whole. In other words, the whole of the hologram exists within each component of itself, so even if it is fragmented, as long as one piece can be recovered, the hologram can be reconstructed in its entirety.

Okay... so I've created my double and I'm bopping along through life, and get hit on the head by a meteor one day, and kaputz, I'm a goner. The eagle grabs my Della-awareness, and I am absorbed back into the black velvet fabric of the Nothing - obliterated. But let's further say that because I was an impeccable warrior (except for failing to note the meteor coming), I had given my double the agenda: "Go out into the All and bring back whatever knowledge is required to teach me everything I need to know in order to become a singularity. Dream me as I have Dreamed you - no matter what. And do not stop until the singularity is manifested."

In giving the double such an agenda, one is acting in the realm of sorcery to defeat the eagle, at least at a certain level. Because of the holographic nature of the universe, once the double is created as an independent component with free will, it cannot be destroyed even if the awareness of the mortal self is eaten by the eagle. Now - an aside - this would require an extremely cohesive double, so this would probably only happen if a warrior was extremely advanced on the path when s/he was hit by that meteor - but for whatever reason, the component that is the mortal self "failed" in her bid to get past the eagle in order to conjoin with the double. So, let's assume, just for the sake of argument, that the eagle stands "between" self and double. May or may not be true, but works for the sake of this explanation.

So - here's the game plan so far. Warrior created her double, gave that double the agenda to teach her "no matter what it takes" (a matter of intent); and then gets splattered by a meteor and eaten by the eagle. It's a shitty day, to be sure.

Okay - so the awareness of the mortal self is swallowed up by the eagle, but because the double was created already BEYOND the eagle, that energy still exists as part of the hologram. But, it recognizes that even it is not "complete" because the component which was the mortal self (its own source) was just eaten by the eagle. What to do? Without the awareness of the mortal self, the double knows it is not "whole" - not a singularity, but only a component, no matter how powerful. And as such, it knows it is vulnerable to the ravages of eternity. Without both halves, the dis-integration is not only inevitable, but has already begun.

Since the double is not limited to the confines of the linear human lifetime, and moves freely outside the box of time itself, the double can just as easily step back inside the framework of the mortal self. I've used the analogy in the past that the double could very easily "climb inside" the mortal self while that mortal self was still in the womb of her mother - and, indeed, this would make a lot of sense, because only then would the double-being exist in the first place. Why do this? Because the double is fighting for his/her own survival, too. And the only way to be sure it will survive would be to exist in such a position as to be able to exert influence over its mortal source from before the moment of birth. So, the double wriggles down comfortably inside his mortal self who is still in the womb, and when the infant is born, it would appear to a seer as having 4 compartments of energy instead of only two.

But - the problem is that the seer is still a being of linear time, and may think - "Oh, my, what a special child!" Er - not really. Sure, the nagual has extra energy and all of that, but we're the fuck-ups who got hit on the head with the meteor in the moebius loop of the time/space continuum, and so the double has had to take control and "re-dream" its way into mortal existence so the whole process can be redone, this time with the double having more influence from the start.



The reason it is seen in this manner is because the seer is seeing only the object, and not the outside-of-time retroactive enchantment which created that object as it exists. And so - ultimately - Naguals may be just another warrior who created their double, got hit on the head with a meteor, and had a double who was smart enough to operate outside of time so as to salvage his own pathway to the Infinite by climbing back into his "source" so as to better guide the play the second time around.

The upside to all of this is that it does tend to give a Nagual that extra reserve of energy, and it certainly provides one with a sense of urgency and focus and sheer determination to make it to freedom that is unparalleled. I am going to make it, no matter what - because if I don't, not only do I "lose" Orlando, but I will have to go through Gretta Young's fourth grade class again. That alone is a powerful medicine of motivation.

***

Okay - with everything in the above post said, it's important to note that NONE of this frees even the Nagual from the repsonsibility of "creating the double through dreaming" in the first place, in the Now. Because even though the double may come into this life with the mortal infant, with the ability to exert powerful influence over that child from even before the moment of birth, it is still the mortal self who must exert free will and force the double to go through the motions of actually occurring.

I've known a couple of naguals who felt they were somehow "special" just by virtue of being born a double being, and even felt that they didn't have to create their double because s/he already existed. One even referred to it as "a waste of energy to create what already exists."

That, again, is a case of a seer seeing only the finished product and failing to take into account that something had to happen to create that reality in the first place. IOW, the conclusions are erroneous, just as it would be an erroneous conclusion to stand in front of a city dump and proclaim, "Flies caused all this garbage!"

So - lest anyone should think Naguals have it easier or are in any way special - please allow me to disabuse you of that notion. I haven't found it to be any different for myself than for any of the other warriors I've known and worked with over the years. We still have to create our double and go through the hard work of the path, so that the double will exist in the first place.

Nothing is a given. Not one thing. No one is going to do it for me.

And so it goes...


copyright © 2005 by Della Van Hise
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